As you’ll see, it’s been a while since my last post, and of course that has a reason of being: I’m translating the whole site in both English and Spanish. To give you an idea, I have roughly 99 posts to translate and I’ve been kind of whining about it for a while (as seen on my Instastories). So much work! So yes, I’m planning not to upload much new on this site until I have it all translated 1 with exception of this particular post as it is not really valid, to me, after the New Year.
Without further ado, lets start this post to reflect a bit on my year:
How I did with last year’s challenges
“I want to eat healthier, do more exercise, take better care for my body. I want to be a writing activist, I want to speak up fro those who don’t dare or can’t find the words. I want to be unapologetically myself in this space and as many others as I can. I want to tell my story as a mental illness survivor. I want to be more present. Dream of the future, but be more present in the here and now, which is the only thing that is real.”
Which were my accomplishments
It was a really personal video, that basically left me bare naked in front of the whole world. I was so nervous about uploading it, and even when I thought it wouldn’t have much repercussions for an almost 20 minute long video, it did, lots of people watched it. I got lots of private messages and even encouraging words from coworkers at my day job!
I also made two videos about influencer marketing.
These also had a lot of repercussion, especially in the influencer community of bloggers with less than 5K. The fact that I’m tired of influencer marketing is something I’ve been thinking of hard and long since February, which is when I started writing (to my friends, privately) about how tired I was of #ads and fake representations of life.
I started a new career.
That even though it’s just a series of intensive courses, it’s still a new field of study for me, and one that I’m very interested into! It took my long enough to realize that, even though I love fashion designer, it’s not the one thing that I’m passionate about. I struggled for a very long time with this thought, because I’ve always felt proud of saying I always knew, from a very little age, what I wanted to do when I grew up — turns out I learnt that one changes many times through life and it’s unavoidable to transform into a whole new person every once in a while, and our tastes, likes and dislikes morph with those changes we make.
Nowdays I can say that my one true passion is TO CREATE. This is the essence of what makes me feel passionate about life. It can be expressed though writing, photography, design, fashion… it doesn’t matter the medium, the ultimate goal is to create.
Black bow headband
Handmade by me
Patent leather pink shoes
Black shoulder bag
Where I failed at
The truth is I’m not doing as good as I thought I was doing. My levels of anxiety reached unthinkable levels this year, and many conditioning thoughts I thought were gone for good have resurfaced with a strength I hardly know where it came from. The fact that I don’t have suicidal thoughts anymore doesn’t mean there’s still not things to take care of, mentally.
I wasn’t financially responsible enough.
It seems I never learn, heh. I started the year spending ridiculous amounts of money on useless things: clothes, shoes, accessories. I filled my credit cards to the top and just now I’m finishing paying them to the fullest. Luckily, 6 months in I stopped spending so much, so nothing new came into the cards, unless it was a much needed purchase. Next year, I want to lower considerably my credit card expenses, especially now that I want to move out alone and that means I need to be wiser about how I spend my money.
I obsessed way too much with social media.
I was already telling you this in the first part of the Influencer Manifesto. I obsessed with social media and its numbers. I obsessed over publishing content, uploading, writing, to the point I forgot what social media was really for: being social! *facepalm*. I felt like I HAD to post every fucking day of my life, and if the feed didn’t show my post to people I’d get really down. Since when do I measure my life over a freaking like?!
But I believe every moment is a great opportunity for learning
I have so many goals for 2019: some I can share, some I prefer to keep private as they’re far too personal ♥. Between other things, I want to be financially more responsible, move out alone, take the international Japanese exam Level 3, read 24 books, post 24 times here, start therapy, translate my blog completely, participate in the photography challenge 365 project, travel and go out for a run every day.
Wish me luck!